


In all those times

by Ciacconne



Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies)
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-12
Updated: 2017-11-12
Packaged: 2019-02-01 02:39:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12695451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ciacconne/pseuds/Ciacconne
Summary: Erik remembers the times he has killed and considers how he feels towards Charles during the battle with Apocalypse.





	In all those times

**Author's Note:**

> In all those times
> 
> Heavily implied Erik/Charles. 500+ words. PG. Alternative timeline.
> 
> Erik remembers the times he has killed and considers how he feels towards Charles during the battle with Apocalypse.

 

-o-

 

Erik remembers the first time his powers manifested back in Auschwitz. There was the pain in his heart, the rage, and the strength of his powers coursing through his rigid body—his fists, shoulders, neck, back and legs. He remembers screaming to the gray skies and rain as his powers were unleashed. He bent metal. He killed.

 

The Nazis had to be gone.

 

But then Shaw saw him and taken him under his wing. Shaw, his creator, and he, the monster. As Shaw shaped Erik’s powers, tormenting him, Erik only wanted it to end and expel the anger and the hatred he had felt. He never had the chance. Many years later, Shaw mysteriously disappeared; Erik was on the hunt for him then.

 

Each Nazi he killed, Erik didn’t think twice. He felt the adrenaline rush and the anger and the hatred—the force of the emotions directed at his enemies. It felt damn good, but it was never enough. He killed more and more and was never satisfied because the memories were still there. He lived those memories every day.   

 

He thought the rest of his life would go on like this until he found Shaw, but that night, deep in the cold waters, and knowing for the first time he wasn’t alone…

 

Charles Xavier entered his life and gave him hope.

 

Not just pain and anger, he remembers.

 

Charles gifted him with the fond memories of his mother. The new emotions he felt gave him the focus he needed for his powers. He remembers laughing with Charles, the intimacy they shared when Charles delved into his mind and retrieved those precious memories. From there, he gathered his focus and wielded his powers and bent the satellite dish to his will.

 

Charles made him feel things. Charles could change his mind.

 

(Charles could control him.)

 

A decade later—they were doomed to cross paths—he was taken aback when Charles punched him in the face. Some part of him was derisively amused. Finally, the posh professor was anything, but what he had accumulated so many years to become.

 

Another decade passed. He had tried Charles’ way, tried to start a family, only to have that taken away again, bringing up all the memories of the past, and was too paralyzed to think, just gave into the pain and anger, and into En Sabah Nur’s ideals for the world.

 

Going on autopilot, wanted to hurt, hurt, and kill; it almost didn’t matter who it was.

 

In his battle with En Sabah Nur, Charles makes him feel things again. Not just pain and anger, but there is something good in him too… the rest of the words did not matter to him. The memories he shared with Charles, together, as one, in mind—he can be a part of that and everything else that come with it.

 

It is the reason he couldn’t stay and teach. Charles may be right about him and Mystique, but Erik is right about everything else—human nature. He will never let the humans take his family again.

 

Fin.

 

-o-

 

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I just wanted to write about Erik’s experience with killing, like what enabled it for Erik to keep killing people and then highlight Charles’ influence on him. Also trying to make sense of the movie canons.
> 
> Anyway, I’m going to plug this lovely discord chat (The Xmen Household) here (https://discord.gg/dVhdSy). I hope you guys check it out. We’re friendly!


End file.
